10 tips on dating...

I do not claim myself to be a expert on dating now that I am married; I honestly think that I was really blessed to find such a wonderful man that could deal with my craziness and call it 'a breath of fresh air'. :D However, after discussing why people we know are still single and why we dated each other I think I have some good tips and advice on the whole dating scene.

First: If you are not dating anyone or are not going on any dates I would just like to remind you to be patient. Just do the best you can with what you have and Heavenly Father will provide the rest. I think one thing we forget so often is that the plans that we may have for ourselves may not be what God has in mind. And ultimately, Heavenly Father knows us way better than we know ourselves so trust him because you will end up in a better place then where you planned. 

Second: It is okay to be a little choosy. If the person is a total creep, you can say no. Chances are you have some idea of what you are looking for, and a creep is not that person. Now if you think they are a creep, but you think everyone else is a creep too, maybe ask your friends what their opinion is on that person.

Third: Give your friends some credit. I am living proof that my friends know me better than I know myself because the first time I met Joe I did not want to date him, but my friends felt that we would be a good match. 

Fourth: It is okay to let your friends set you up on a date. Be wise about their choices though. If they have brought you failure after failure then maybe say "No" to them next time.

Fifth: Do not be bitter or desperate. When you are bitter and resentful it makes you unattractive. Question: Would you date someone that was angry at the world? Answer: Probably not. In addition, do not come off too desperate. Just like being bitter, desperate is not a good look either. You get this crazy look in your eyes saying "carpool to the Celestial Kingdom with me, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!" Example... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHmhR5Hsa1g  Kind of scary, is it not? Not only would I be scared but I would be running in the other direction.

Sixth: Boys, the girls are not going to pursue you. To be blunt, that is a dumb thought. Girls want to know that they will be looked after and cared for. Guys, how do you show that? By asking her out on dates and actively pursuing her. The way to know if a girl is telling you that they like you is if she continually texts you or calls you every once in a while. She may even invite you to a party. Take the hint and ask her out again, or if you are not interested do not lead her on so she can move on with her life.

Seventh: If you are not doing anything with your life, you are definitely not a candidate. When a boy does not have a steady job, is not going to school, and does not even have a degree their prospects drop tremendously. Girls want a man that has a job in order to provide for their future family, or at least working on getting a degree to get a proper job to provide for the future. Additionally, girls if you are not doing anything with your life boys are going to see a girl who is going to sit at home and do nothing all day. Not appealing. Additionally if you are actively involved in productive interests and you are not dating currently, you will have something to consume your day with, instead of moping.

Eighth: Do service. It will make you happy and it will get you thinking about something other than yourself. Serving is a good way to build up your self esteem and guys/girls think it is very attractive.

Ninth: Guys can be chumps. The previous statement is something that my husband told to a friend once. If a guy is older and is not actively seeking out girls to date/marry (i.e. asking girls out) then he is a chump. There is hardly anything you can do about it, except nudge them in the right direction.

Tenth: Ugh... well I ran out of advice. Like I said I am not an expert and you certainly do not have to take into consideration anything that I have written. I just thought it would be nice to hear from a newly wed's perspective. 

Hopefully these tips will help lessen the anxiety you may have toward dating, and give you an idea of what you may need to work on. Just have fun in the dating game. It is a long, tedious process, but well worth it in the end. :)

So... how is married life?

Well I am married now to an amazing man, Joe, and things have been great! It is funny though, every time I see 'Single' friends they always ask me the same question. "How is married life?"

Well to all of you that are wondering, married life is great! It is not what I expected, because I expected it to be some BIG change. However, married life was a fairly smooth transition. Given we are still working on how we want to do things and what happens if this event occurs; but being married is very similar to the dating process and being engaged. We are both still getting to know each other, sharing stories, finding out dislikes, likes, learning, growing, and building our lives together. The only major difference is now we live together and do not have to say good bye at night. And that is a much welcomed change. 

There are some adjustments that have needed to be made; such as calling his family mine, realizing I do not have to explain who my brothers are, and the last name is a bit tricky. However, these changes are welcomed, even though they may take time to adjust to. 

Another expectation that I had of marriage was that once you are husband and wife you know everything there is to know about the other person. So after a while husbands and wives had nothing left to learn about the other person. This is completely false. I am still getting to know my husband and just the other day he learned something about me that he did not know. I am glad that I realized that we still needed to learn about each other now, because I feel that this will be beneficial down the road as we continually change. Good communication between husband and wife is a key to keeping a good relationship going; at least that is what I am taught at school and it makes sense.

           So for all of you who were wondering... "How is married life"... life is good, different but good.
:)